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Random events and short stories interrupted by everyday life.

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Tuesday, 26 April 2022

Garden Slugs; and Ways to Kill Them

 Slugs destroy happiness

 
I share my story and it's no different than from many others I have received.

 Slugs. The name twists my insides. Death is the only way.
 
      Sure. I remember the late summer of 2016. ‘The harvest of joy,’ some called it. 
                            
That lazy afternoon of dance and whiskey. ‘Last time I saw Maggie smile.
That night ‘they’came in over the north wall and waited for the rains that followed.
We had the defences up and ready, to be sure.
But our walls of salt where soon washed away by the heavy rains.
They just slithered on through and kept coming. Stronger in numbers, testing our weakness.
Screams from Johnnies’ bedroom. A Blast of shotgun from outside the patio.
By sun up, on the second day, those bastards had eaten everything.
Anything but stalk or stem didn’t stand a chance.
Leaving nothing but trails of silver slime and my sweet taste for bitter revenge.
…So grab a gat' and mount up. Five metre spread. No sound…

 There are 29 species of this slime bag in Britain.
Lets make that number, 28'.

 Deterrents you will need are; Salt, Slug pellets, copper wire, crushed egg shell. Mind altering music and anything flammable all play their part in keeping the slime balls at bay in your beautiful garden.

Another way is beer. The critters are attracted to the smell of beer. The stronger the smell of yeast the better. Pour into a 2 litre pot, out with the veggies and relax. Come morning a pot full of dead slug.

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